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You know what they say:
Life is like a bucket of woodshavings. Unless it's in a pail; then, of course, life is more like a pail of woodshavings.
Excepting my sister - who knows almost everything I do and probably knows them better - and the possible Caitlin, probably no one else understood my obscure Spongebob reference. But that's alright, this blog post isn't about that. Not even something silly, witty or amusingly offensive. Hold your breaths, tis' a rant you're going to see.
So I haven't updated in some time - well, really, a long time but I'm sure none of you minded too much - and while there was a minor outcry in the first few weeks when people first noticed how my random, non-sensical and oft meaningless posts were dwindling in their frequency, their cries of minor annoyance died quite quickly as they must have soon posed themselves the question why they were lamenting when really there wasn't much to miss at all.
The rant hasn't even started properly, and while giving my entry a perusal, I can already tell it is going to be a very self-demeaning piece and not at all like how I usually am. I'm going to have to do something about that.
So since I have come back from good ol' Tassie (to be read with the utmost vehemence and venom) I have adjusted comfortably enough into my old routine. Very refreshing. I now own a pet chihuahua though the only people who will read this blog will already have long known. It was a pleasant surprise to come back to such a cute little bugger wagging his tail so hard his entire ass wiggles along with it eagerly sniffing me up. Mmmm. The family was ecstatic over my return - even my sister I'm sure though she hid it well; I feel I have done a good job with teaching her the necessities of being a total asshole. Her social life is much more expansive - and pervasive - than mine ever was though I consider that an ideal improvisation on her part; she never knows when she might need the help of a friend to overcome her innate limitations. She'll do fine.
So after going through a year of Year 12 in a foreign country, the next step is to, obviously, head off to university. Now there comes the obstacles. Four great big ones at that; much drama ensued.
The original plan was that I was going to Melbourne for Engineering. Well, that didn't go well with the parents. They didn't think I could do it because engineers - especially Shell engineers, apparently - experience lots of tiny personal politics in their working environment. I wouldn't be able to cope because I was never a very social person. Of course they've got it right but not in the way they're assuming; I would fail very badly in politics because I would diss everyone around me until the environment was divided between two distinct coaliations: me and the rest of the world. The carnage which would eventually break out would leave my pride mangled in so many bloody bits I'm not sure there would be any point trying to pick up the pieces after that.
Yes, very dramatic. And knowing what my scathing comments may lead to doesn't stop me from being so nonetheless. Stubborness of the worst kind; it's a disease which I can't quite shake off. So they told me to be a doctor instead. Doctors are independent people. They do their job and they get out of there with no worries of workplace competition or anything of the sort because their kind is rare enough in our country that demand will always be plentiful. I considered and did my "why the fuck not" shrug and so that became my future.
Medicine is a difficult course to get into, isn't it? That was not a problem for me though. Academic hurdles never bothered me in the least before and a tiny thing like high grades weren't going to stop me now.
When my results came out, it turns out that I missed the margin of Clearly-In by a measly zero point one. That was pretty hilarious, though I was the only one who thought so. My family were mad; oh them and their lack of humor. Anyway. So then we looked into other options. Sure there was the chance that there would be last minute cancellations and a space would be free, and seeing as how I missed by ... such an insignificant number I was bound to be next on the list, right? Unless they're racist but really, I'm giving the authorities there the benefit of the doubt.
HAHA, DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS.
Recent revelations - meaning a phone call or five hundred to the few people they really trust and actually know what they're saying - have helped my parents towards making a decision which is to be, that I'm abso-fucking-lutely going nowhere until August where I am starting my Medicine course in either the International Medical University in KL, or University of Brunei Darussalam in .. Brunei.
Right, I'm happy now. I'm staying right here where I belong in this hot, humid backwater hellhole of an island. Fuck yeah.
Another post is coming up in which I'm going to talk about my Mulu trip and the trip to Brunei I had today which both involved Judy by my side. Hot secks was denied me both times as there were witnesses. But we improvised. Oh you bet we did.
Life is like a bucket of woodshavings. Unless it's in a pail; then, of course, life is more like a pail of woodshavings.
Excepting my sister - who knows almost everything I do and probably knows them better - and the possible Caitlin, probably no one else understood my obscure Spongebob reference. But that's alright, this blog post isn't about that. Not even something silly, witty or amusingly offensive. Hold your breaths, tis' a rant you're going to see.
So I haven't updated in some time - well, really, a long time but I'm sure none of you minded too much - and while there was a minor outcry in the first few weeks when people first noticed how my random, non-sensical and oft meaningless posts were dwindling in their frequency, their cries of minor annoyance died quite quickly as they must have soon posed themselves the question why they were lamenting when really there wasn't much to miss at all.
The rant hasn't even started properly, and while giving my entry a perusal, I can already tell it is going to be a very self-demeaning piece and not at all like how I usually am. I'm going to have to do something about that.
So since I have come back from good ol' Tassie (to be read with the utmost vehemence and venom) I have adjusted comfortably enough into my old routine. Very refreshing. I now own a pet chihuahua though the only people who will read this blog will already have long known. It was a pleasant surprise to come back to such a cute little bugger wagging his tail so hard his entire ass wiggles along with it eagerly sniffing me up. Mmmm. The family was ecstatic over my return - even my sister I'm sure though she hid it well; I feel I have done a good job with teaching her the necessities of being a total asshole. Her social life is much more expansive - and pervasive - than mine ever was though I consider that an ideal improvisation on her part; she never knows when she might need the help of a friend to overcome her innate limitations. She'll do fine.
So after going through a year of Year 12 in a foreign country, the next step is to, obviously, head off to university. Now there comes the obstacles. Four great big ones at that; much drama ensued.
The original plan was that I was going to Melbourne for Engineering. Well, that didn't go well with the parents. They didn't think I could do it because engineers - especially Shell engineers, apparently - experience lots of tiny personal politics in their working environment. I wouldn't be able to cope because I was never a very social person. Of course they've got it right but not in the way they're assuming; I would fail very badly in politics because I would diss everyone around me until the environment was divided between two distinct coaliations: me and the rest of the world. The carnage which would eventually break out would leave my pride mangled in so many bloody bits I'm not sure there would be any point trying to pick up the pieces after that.
Yes, very dramatic. And knowing what my scathing comments may lead to doesn't stop me from being so nonetheless. Stubborness of the worst kind; it's a disease which I can't quite shake off. So they told me to be a doctor instead. Doctors are independent people. They do their job and they get out of there with no worries of workplace competition or anything of the sort because their kind is rare enough in our country that demand will always be plentiful. I considered and did my "why the fuck not" shrug and so that became my future.
Medicine is a difficult course to get into, isn't it? That was not a problem for me though. Academic hurdles never bothered me in the least before and a tiny thing like high grades weren't going to stop me now.
HAHA, DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS.
Recent revelations - meaning a phone call or five hundred to the few people they really trust and actually know what they're saying - have helped my parents towards making a decision which is to be, that I'm abso-fucking-lutely going nowhere until August where I am starting my Medicine course in either the International Medical University in KL, or University of Brunei Darussalam in .. Brunei.
Right, I'm happy now. I'm staying right here where I belong in this hot, humid backwater hellhole of an island. Fuck yeah.
Another post is coming up in which I'm going to talk about my Mulu trip and the trip to Brunei I had today which both involved Judy by my side. Hot secks was denied me both times as there were witnesses. But we improvised. Oh you bet we did.
Current Location: in mah crib.
Current Mood: 
amused
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